I miss

I miss eating water melon from the cart on the roadside with juice dripping down my hands and feeling all sticky and gross..instead of worrying about flies and disease.

I miss eating all the ice lollies we could get at the store every single day instead of worrying about cellulite

I miss getting all excited at the thought of going for a party cos there were boys coming along instead of thinking all men are dogs

I miss talking on the phone all night before a really big exam instead of being so tired i just drop dead

I miss how incredibly funny it was seeing my friends drunk for the first time without realizing how incredibly stupid I sounded myself instead of getting drunk and talking about what dead end futures we have.

I miss worrying about how to con my mom into giving me a 100 bucks instead of worrying how to make my next credit card payment.

I miss the thrill of that first kiss, the flirting, the attention instead of thinking he’s gonna hurt me, cheat on me, give me some disease.

I miss meeting a guy and just enjoying being with him instead of having to size him up to see if he would be a good father to my children.

I miss crying over my ex boyfriend and the good times we had instead of thinking ‘oh well’

I miss how I could talk for hours about nothing and everything with my friends, like we'd live forever instead of about how our time is up

I miss how we had all the answers and all we needed was the experience instead of been there done that and sold out

I miss waking up in the morning and thinking ‘yuck’ school today but then smiling cos that also meant playing red rover 10 times over at break time. I miss waking up in the morning and thinking ‘yuck’ college today but then smiling cos that also meant seeing that oh so cute guy in the next class. I miss waking up in the morning and…smiling

I miss just doing stuff....cos....just because………instead of having to complete the end of that sentence all the time and end up not doing anything.

But the funny thing is…more than anything..what I really miss is not the way things used be..what I miss most is… me.